Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
