she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
