you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
