OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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