take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
