you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
