Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
