you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
