I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
