After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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