My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
