NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
