the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She needs sedatives and a leash
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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