the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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