He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
