:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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