I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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