Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
