There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
