my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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