i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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