YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
