redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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