I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
