Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
