Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We left the knife in your bed.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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