I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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