i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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