Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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