The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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