What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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