If that was your dad, he is hot
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
