Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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