a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Terrible idea I love it
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
