$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
