"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
