You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So squirting runs in the family.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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