You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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