youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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