you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
