Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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