I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
