Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
