dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
