if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
