you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
