I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
