i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
