basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
