If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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