it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
