it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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