OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
