Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
